November 2008
3 posts
Venus Loon / Word Association Football
The first girl I ever loved I don’t recognise Her nose is smashed, her frame is bent, She’s covered in flies. Everyone I ever loved, I’ll love ‘til I die.
I was just listening to T.Rex and the song Venus Loon came on, reminding me that the third verse has some of my favorite lyrics ever. Marc Bolan could be one silly bastard, but sometimes it all came together in a great...
Miley Cyrus cleaning cum, I'm just sayin', New Q...
“Next, another interview with Miley Cyrus, coming clean about her boyfriend” is what the newscaster-person just said to tease us into sticking around through the commercials. What would have made it more interesting is if she’d said “Next, another interview with Miley Cyrus, cleaning come about her boyfriend.”
I’m just sayin’.
It always makes...
Inkpen?
Oh, Long Johnson. Oh Don Piano.
I’m trying to decompress from a soul-draining kind of day. You know, the kind of day where you don’t really do a lot, so if someone asked you to write down what you did it wouldn’t look like much on paper, but it’s draining nonetheless?
Or, as Paul Westerberg of The Replacements said: “a person can work up a mean, mean thirst after...
October 2008
3 posts
Wow! I'm a party animal!!!!!
Sometimes when I’m in a group of people, I like to sit with my laptop and look up words in the online Merriam Webster dictionary. They’ll be sipping their mint juleps, speaking in tongues about what stocks they’re losing money on, and I push the button to make it speak out loud and say silly words.
It surprises me how many times I’ll make the computer say something goofy...
It's A Small World. Jerry Seinfeld's castmate has...
It’s 3:13 a.m. and I’m trying to go to sleep. I felt a little teapot all day long. No no, that’s not it. I felt a little queasy all day long. I went to a place called Rocket To Venus last night to bid Happy Birthday to a friend, and ended up drinking some rather strongly-mixed Kamikazes. I haven’t had more than 2 drinks in months.
Also, I’ve been staying healthy...
May 2008
4 posts
Asterisk (FLOWER DANGER)
Another day. I wake up in my friend’s home, where I’m now living. I walk downstairs, trying to avoid eye contact with my dog so I won’t have to take her outside until I’m ready, and get a Wallaby Organic Yogurt (flavor: Dulce De Leche) to eat with a disposable plastic spoon (brand: Safeway). I eat it in bed, flip on the laptop (Dell), and see an ad on the top of myspace for...
Rubber Bubbly Baby Bunkers OR Come See Virtual Me...
For a short period of time today, I bummed a laptop off of my friend Chris. I thought, instead of sending a text or email, that I’d sign on to Second Life and see if my honey was playing in the alternate universe. (In case you’ve never played, it’s an online game where you create your own character and walk around doing whatever the hell you want to. We both discovered it after...
Homo Slomo Disco
Click on pic! There’s a place that has a few locations in and around Chicago called the Illinois Bone and Joint Institute. My girlfriend found it on the interweb. She pointed out that it’s a fantastic tongue twister. It’s hard to say correctly one time, much less three. Try it. You’ll at least end up saying the word “boin” a few times. Then, when it becomes...
sleeeeeeeeeeeeep... sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Take ahold of my hand if you want to live… with diabeetus. I’m carless (not “careless,” he means without car) for a few days, and also without internet (sans connection). Well, except for today, because a beautiful woman with a computer came to service all of my needs. Lucky you! So I had a little time to try to entertain myself, and I did it by watching TV (man, did you...
April 2008
5 posts
Yagton Mai
for today’s diary entry, i’d like to perform a reading from the Michael Thomas Ford book titled “That’s Mr. Faggot To You”.
drop.io: simple private sharing
Isn’t that weird? Apparently if I do a reading from a gay man’s novel I end up sounding like David Johansen of the New York Dolls. And what’s even weirder is that when David Jo does a...
COMposE yOur/my owN song
Now this is kinda funny. I found a site that hosts voicemail messages and stores them for playback on the web. So what i did was record three (3) separate phone messages, all featuring minimalist guitar scratchings and/or hooting.
Here’s what you can do for fun. Open the page, turn up the volume and press the reload button. It should play all 3 of the voicefiles at the same time. That...
It's Tiny Time!
april 12th, technically yesterday, was my birthday. i am very old and have lived thru many odd things. rather, i am very odd and have lived thru many old things. tiny tim (i wrote “tiny time” at first, then corrected it) david letterman shannen doherty (sp?) (i’m not taking time to look up the spelling of her name coz i don’t think she’d do it for me) claire danes...
There's a Weird/Funny Story If You Hang In There
Suddenly it’s warm and beautiful. Outside, I mean. My body is hanging on for dear life to a sinus infection that I got as a consolation prize when I had the flu. I haven’t been able to smell or taste for about two weeks now. Nothing. At all. I’m not fucking joking around here, chief. Do you have any idea how you start to lose your zest for life when you can’t enjoy your...
Come To Ottobar & Tips For Junkies!
Every Thursday night I DJ at a fine, fine club called Ottobar. They asked me what I wanted to call it (because most clubs have theme nights every night, so they usually have names like “Metal Tuesday,” “Two-Fer Monday,” “Britpop Sunday,” “Johnny Puts The Cunt In Country,” “80’s Wednesday,” “Who Put The ‘Ham’ In...
March 2008
1 post
Will My Lord Be Gardening?
shaking get the leaf off caterpillar moths, it’s that time (for questions) shake me fellow blossom, falling’s awesome when is mine? (please answer) still i think the best of you even your worst will do even when you do more than you should i’m thinking: can you show up and not start? you can’t walk through Hunting Park without finding the dark. you can’t...